TCDE-Team at 21:57, 4 April 2026

2026-04-04T21:57:07Z

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	This poem was written as a reply after critic Arthur Guiterman wrote a poem entitled: "[[#To_Sir_Arthur_Conan_Doyle\|To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle]]" complaining that Sherlock Holmes shouldn't say negative things about other fictional detectives when Conan Doyle owed a lot to other authors' detective stories.		This poem was written as a reply after critic Arthur Guiterman wrote a poem entitled: "[[#To_Sir_Arthur_Conan_Doyle\|To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle]]" complaining that Sherlock Holmes shouldn't say negative things about other fictional detectives when Conan Doyle owed a lot to other authors' detective stories.


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	== To An Undiscerning Critic ==		== To An Undiscerning Critic ==

	by Arthur Conan Doyle, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (28 december 1912)		by Arthur Conan Doyle, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (28 december 1912)


	Sure there are times when one cries with acidity,~~<br />~~		<poem>
	'Where are the limits of human stupidity?'~~<br />~~		Sure there are times when one cries with acidity,
	Here is a critic who says as a platitude ~~<br />~~		'Where are the limits of human stupidity?'
	That I am guilty because 'in gratitude~~<br />~~		Here is a critic who says as a platitude
	Sherlock, the sleuth-hound, with motives ulterior,~~<br />~~		That I am guilty because 'in gratitude
	Sneers at Poe's Dupin as "very inferior".'~~<br />~~		Sherlock, the sleuth-hound, with motives ulterior,
	Have you not learned, my esteemed communicator,~~<br />~~		Sneers at Poe's Dupin as "very inferior".'
	That the created is not the creator?~~<br />~~		Have you not learned, my esteemed communicator,
	As the creator I've praised to satiety~~<br />~~		That the created is not the creator?
	Poe's Monsieur Dupin, his skill and variety,~~<br />~~		As the creator I've praised to satiety
	And have admitted that in my detective work~~<br />~~		Poe's Monsieur Dupin, his skill and variety,
	I owe to my model a deal of selective work.~~<br />~~		And have admitted that in my detective work
	But is it not on the verge of inanity~~<br />~~		I owe to my model a deal of selective work.
	To put down to me my creation's crude vanity?~~<br />~~		But is it not on the verge of inanity
	He, the created, would scoff and would sneer,~~<br />~~		To put down to me my creation's crude vanity?
	Where I, the creator, would bow and revere.~~<br />~~		He, the created, would scoff and would sneer,
	So please grip this fact with your cerebral tentacle:~~<br />~~		Where I, the creator, would bow and revere.
			So please grip this fact with your cerebral tentacle:
	The doll and its maker are never identical.		The doll and its maker are never identical.
			</poem>


			== To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ==

	~~== To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ==~~
	by Arthur Guiterman, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (14 december 1912)		by Arthur Guiterman, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (14 december 1912)


	Gentle Sir Conan, I'll venture that few have been~~<br />~~		<poem>
	Half as prodigiously lucky as you have been.~~<br />~~		Gentle Sir Conan, I'll venture that few have been
	Fortune, the flirt! has been wondrously kind to you.~~<br />~~		Half as prodigiously lucky as you have been.
	Ever beneficent, sweet and refined to you.~~<br />~~		Fortune, the flirt! has been wondrously kind to you.
	Doomed to the practise of physic and surgery,~~<br />~~		Ever beneficent, sweet and refined to you.
	Yet, growing weary of pills and physicianing,~~<br />~~		Doomed to the practise of physic and surgery,
	Off to the Arctic you packed, expeditioning.~~<br />~~		Yet, growing weary of pills and physicianing,
	Roving and dreaming, Ambition, that heady sin,~~<br />~~		Off to the Arctic you packed, expeditioning.
	Gave you a spirit too restless for medicine:~~<br />~~		Roving and dreaming, Ambition, that heady sin,
	That, I presume, as Romance is the quest of us,~~<br />~~		Gave you a spirit too restless for medicine:
	Made you an Author-the same as the rest of us.~~<br />~~		That, I presume, as Romance is the quest of us,
	Ah, but the rest of us clamor distressfully,~~<br />~~		Made you an Author-the same as the rest of us.
	"How do you manage the game so successfully?~~<br />~~		Ah, but the rest of us clamor distressfully,
	Tell us, disclose to us how under Heaven you~~<br />~~		"How do you manage the game so successfully?
	Squeeze from the inkpot so splendid a revenue!"~~<br />~~		Tell us, disclose to us how under Heaven you
	Then, when you'd published your volume that vindicates~~<br />~~		Squeeze from the inkpot so splendid a revenue!"
	England's South African raid (or the Syndicate's),~~<br />~~		Then, when you'd published your volume that vindicates
	Pleading that Britain's extreme bellicosity~~<br />~~		England's South African raid (or the Syndicate's),
	Wasn't (as most of us think) an atrocity~~<br />~~		Pleading that Britain's extreme bellicosity
	Straightaway they gave you a cross with a chain to it~~<br />~~		Wasn't (as most of us think) an atrocity
	(Oh, what an honor! I could not attain to it,~~<br />~~		Straightaway they gave you a cross with a chain to it
	Not if I lived to the age of Methusalem!)~~<br />~~		(Oh, what an honor! I could not attain to it,
	Made you a knight of St. John of Jerusalem!~~<br />~~		Not if I lived to the age of Methusalem!)
	Faith! as a teller of tales you've the trick with you!~~<br />~~		Made you a knight of St. John of Jerusalem!
	Still there's a bone I've been wanting to pick with you:~~<br />~~		Faith! as a teller of tales you've the trick with you!
	Holmes is your hero of drama and serial:~~<br />~~		Still there's a bone I've been wanting to pick with you:
	All of us know where you dug the material!~~<br />~~		Holmes is your hero of drama and serial:
	Whence he was moulded-'tis almost a platitude;~~<br />~~		All of us know where you dug the material!
	Yet your detective, in shameless ingratitude~~<br />~~		Whence he was moulded-'tis almost a platitude;
	Sherlock your sleuthhound with motives ulterior~~<br />~~		Yet your detective, in shameless ingratitude
	Sneers at Poe's "Dupin" as "very inferior!"~~<br />~~		Sherlock your sleuthhound with motives ulterior
	Labels Gaboriau's clever "Lecoq," indeed,~~<br />~~		Sneers at Poe's "Dupin" as "very inferior!"
	Merely "a bungler," a creature to mock, indeed!~~<br />~~		Labels Gaboriau's clever "Lecoq," indeed,
	This, when your plots and your methods in story owe~~<br />~~		Merely "a bungler," a creature to mock, indeed!
	More than a trifle to Poe and Gaboriau,~~<br />~~		This, when your plots and your methods in story owe
	Sets all the Muses of Helicon sorrowing.~~<br />~~		More than a trifle to Poe and Gaboriau,
	Borrow, Sir Knight, but in decent borrowing!~~<br />~~		Sets all the Muses of Helicon sorrowing.
	Still let us own that your bent is a cheery one,~~<br />~~		Borrow, Sir Knight, but in decent borrowing!
	Little you've written to bore or to weary one,~~<br />~~		Still let us own that your bent is a cheery one,
	Plenty that's slovenly, nothing with harm in it,~~<br />~~		Little you've written to bore or to weary one,
	Give me detective with brains analytical~~<br />~~		Plenty that's slovenly, nothing with harm in it,
	Rather than weaklings with morals mephitical~~<br />~~		Give me detective with brains analytical
	Stories of battles and man's intrepidity~~<br />~~		Rather than weaklings with morals mephitical
	Rather than wails of neurotic morbidity!~~<br />~~		Stories of battles and man's intrepidity
	Give me adventures and fierce dinotheriums~~<br />~~		Rather than wails of neurotic morbidity!
	Rather than Hewlett's ecstatic deliriums!~~<br />~~		Give me adventures and fierce dinotheriums
	Frankly, Sir Conan, some hours I've eased with you~~<br />~~		Rather than Hewlett's ecstatic deliriums!
			Frankly, Sir Conan, some hours I've eased with you
	And, on the whole, I am pretty well pleased with you.		And, on the whole, I am pretty well pleased with you.
			</poem>

TCDE-Team at 11:22, 20 October 2019

2019-10-20T11:22:36Z

New page

''To An Undiscerning Critic'' is a poem written by [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] first published in the [[London Opinion]] magazine on 28 december 1912.

This poem was written as a reply after critic Arthur Guiterman wrote a poem entitled: "[[#To_Sir_Arthur_Conan_Doyle|To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle]]" complaining that Sherlock Holmes shouldn't say negative things about other fictional detectives when Conan Doyle owed a lot to other authors' detective stories.

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== Editions ==

* in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (28 december 1912 [UK])
* in ''Some Piquant People'', by Lincoln Springfield (october 1924, [[T. Fisher Unwin]] [UK])
* ''To An Undiscerning Critic'' (1924, [[Edwin B. Hill]] [US])
* ''To An Undiscerning Critic'' (4 october 1937, [[Edwin B. Hill]] [US])
* in ''Profile by Gaslight'' (1944, [[Simon and Schuster]] [US])
* in ''The Baker Street Journal'' Vol. 10 No. 4 (october 1960 [US])
* in ''An 'Undiscerning Critic' Discerned'' (december 1968, [[The Beaune Press]] [US])

== To An Undiscerning Critic ==
by Arthur Conan Doyle, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (28 december 1912)

Sure there are times when one cries with acidity, 
'Where are the limits of human stupidity?' 
Here is a critic who says as a platitude 
That I am guilty because 'in gratitude 
Sherlock, the sleuth-hound, with motives ulterior, 
Sneers at Poe's Dupin as "very inferior".' 
Have you not learned, my esteemed communicator, 
That the created is not the creator? 
As the creator I've praised to satiety 
Poe's Monsieur Dupin, his skill and variety, 
And have admitted that in my detective work 
I owe to my model a deal of selective work. 
But is it not on the verge of inanity 
To put down to me my creation's crude vanity? 
He, the created, would scoff and would sneer, 
Where I, the creator, would bow and revere. 
So please grip this fact with your cerebral tentacle: 
The doll and its maker are never identical.

== To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ==
by Arthur Guiterman, in ''[[London Opinion]]'' (14 december 1912)

Gentle Sir Conan, I'll venture that few have been 
Half as prodigiously lucky as you have been. 
Fortune, the flirt! has been wondrously kind to you. 
Ever beneficent, sweet and refined to you. 
Doomed to the practise of physic and surgery, 
Yet, growing weary of pills and physicianing, 
Off to the Arctic you packed, expeditioning. 
Roving and dreaming, Ambition, that heady sin, 
Gave you a spirit too restless for medicine: 
That, I presume, as Romance is the quest of us, 
Made you an Author-the same as the rest of us. 
Ah, but the rest of us clamor distressfully, 
"How do you manage the game so successfully? 
Tell us, disclose to us how under Heaven you 
Squeeze from the inkpot so splendid a revenue!" 
Then, when you'd published your volume that vindicates 
England's South African raid (or the Syndicate's), 
Pleading that Britain's extreme bellicosity 
Wasn't (as most of us think) an atrocity 
Straightaway they gave you a cross with a chain to it 
(Oh, what an honor! I could not attain to it, 
Not if I lived to the age of Methusalem!) 
Made you a knight of St. John of Jerusalem! 
Faith! as a teller of tales you've the trick with you! 
Still there's a bone I've been wanting to pick with you: 
Holmes is your hero of drama and serial: 
All of us know where you dug the material! 
Whence he was moulded-'tis almost a platitude; 
Yet your detective, in shameless ingratitude 
Sherlock your sleuthhound with motives ulterior 
Sneers at Poe's "Dupin" as "very inferior!" 
Labels Gaboriau's clever "Lecoq," indeed, 
Merely "a bungler," a creature to mock, indeed! 
This, when your plots and your methods in story owe 
More than a trifle to Poe and Gaboriau, 
Sets all the Muses of Helicon sorrowing. 
Borrow, Sir Knight, but in decent borrowing! 
Still let us own that your bent is a cheery one, 
Little you've written to bore or to weary one, 
Plenty that's slovenly, nothing with harm in it, 
Give me detective with brains analytical 
Rather than weaklings with morals mephitical 
Stories of battles and man's intrepidity 
Rather than wails of neurotic morbidity! 
Give me adventures and fierce dinotheriums 
Rather than Hewlett's ecstatic deliriums! 
Frankly, Sir Conan, some hours I've eased with you 
And, on the whole, I am pretty well pleased with you.

----
* [[Sir Arthur Conan Doyle:Complete Works|Back to Complete Works]]
* [[Sir Arthur Conan Doyle|Back to Conan Doyle]]

To An Undiscerning Critic - Revision history

TCDE-Team at 21:57, 4 April 2026

TCDE-Team at 11:22, 20 October 2019