A Feldkirch Football Match
A Feldkirch Football Match is a poem written by Arthur Conan Doyle published in his handwritten magazine The Feldkirchian Gazette (Vol. II, november 1875).
A Feldkirch Football Match
Partly parodied from "Marmion"
At last the clouds of drizzling rain
Passed slowly o'er our heads again.
And first beside the "billiard" door,
A gloomy lot of brats appear.
The sun breaks out — and many more
Come squashing hard to get before
All scorning to be in the rear.
Until at last they all are there,
and Mire shakes his bell in air
Hark to the mingled yells and roars
As high the heavy football soars.
Floating like foam upon the wave
Is seen the caps of players brave.
But none can rightly see.
Wild raged the match o'er all the plain
Some yelled from joy, and some from pain,
Some tumbled into pools of rain,
And then they rose and fell again,
Wild and disorderly.
Amid this scene of tumult high
Full many a kick did Fitz let fly
While towering like a great colossus,
Above the rest was famed "proboscis".
There met them in the fray
Both Michael Cullen and his brother,
Howell too, and many another
With Montford or with Spee.
Down near the goals unseen the while
Old Valderdoff was shinned by Doyle.
Though there the chaps on Montford’s side,
Played like the roaring ocean tide,
And freely fists, and feet they plied
Around the goals there pressed a squash,
Bravely did Montford through it dash,
Till valiant Lomax fell.
Quickly from out the crowd Quadt flew
With trembling flight, while fiercer grew
The eager players yell.
The roars and screaming rent the sky,
An "ein" a "zweier" is the cry.
Fierce changed the angry foes.
Advanced, forced back, now low, now high
Was seen "Proboscis" nose.
As bends the bark's mast in the gale
When rent are rigging, shrouds, and sail,
And angry Boreas blows.
Though still they played the squash was o’er
When from the ground a boy they bore
With breetches split and bleeding hand
His coat all torn, and figure bowed.
His face begrimed with mud and sand
Could this be Lomax, once so proud.
They propped him up against the wall,
And held him tight lest he should fall.
He waved above his head like mad
a dirty handkerchief he had.
He saw the traitor Quadt to fly,
Fire gleamed from his extended eye.
"By George, I'll punch that Quadt'ses head"
Were the last words that Lomax said
AD
